There is nothing good or bad but thinking make it so !!
Have you heard that quote before? That’s a quote from William Shakespeare from his play Hamlet. Hamlet says this famous line. Now looking forward, what does it have to do with anything? What does it have to do with creating your own emotions? There’s a very fundamental idea in personal development that I want you to start to buy into and this is the point of this article to help you buy into it. This is a very powerful pattern of life to live from and it’s the opposite paradigm of the way that most people live. Because most people think that the emotions they experience, the way they feel, their mood, their feelings are dictated by the external circumstances.
Why does it happen?
So somebody says something to you. Something bad happens to you. Something good happens to you. You get a promotion or you get fired. You passed exams with a high percentage or you failed miserably. Somebody had a good relationship or had a bad relationship. You earn money or you lose money. As a result, all of this stuff is creating the emotions that you feel, right? Somebody pays you a compliment you feel good. Feel very positive. Moreover, something goods happening in your life you’re feeling excited, right? Something exciting is happening, you got a trip coming up now soon you are excited.
Conversely, the flip side is that if something negative stuff is happening to you, then you feel down, sad, angry, frustrated, stressed. Well, the secret really to life with respect to ancient sages and wise men is that actually what’s creating your emotions is not the environment, it’s you. It’s how you think about the situation that creates the emotions. This is something that’s within your control. This is something that can be changed. Even when the external environment is against you. You can change how you’re reacting to it, how you’re perceiving it, how you’re are interpreting it. Therefore, you can gain emotional mastery.
Here are some of the tips that dailyinfinite team has studied over the months to help our readers to manage their emotions rather than allowing them to lead the way.
1. Check Your Emotions First
Whenever you feel emotionally weak, do not dismiss those feelings. As a small kid needs attention from parents; same as the case with emotions. Once we able to check and review that emotion, we grab it from its neck.
To feel the emotion is an important part of our life. Sometimes, it can also create a problem.
To clarify, If someone is feeling bored, sad, or lonely, he tends to eat more and more food for comfort. Due to the extra food, he gains unnecessary weight. Now, the situation is even worse because his self-esteem suffers.
When we check and learn about our emotions, we become more aware and accepting of them, and we begin to understand where they come from.
2. Be Aware of Your Weak Point
Try to figure out circumstances that make you angry, jealous, frightened.
In many people live, they often feel angry when they are being ignored, disrespected or unappreciated. So, if they ask anyone several times to do something and some particular person ignore them, they feel anger beginning to rise inside.
However, to take control of that emotion and instead of blaming them to be disrespectful—recognize that it is not true, and avert the anger with a beautiful smile on your face and keep chilling your life further.
3. Ask Yourself a Question
One of the tremendous tools in helping to deal with the emotions has been to write them down or at least keep asking yourself a question.
Ask questions about emotions and trying to dig beneath the surface level thoughts.
If you feeling so much mercy on your emotions. Ask yourself a simple question. Why do I feel so overwhelmed today? Someone, who hurt you have any idea of your emotional feelings? Last but not least, ask a positive action question to engage with another emotion, for example, what is one positive thing I can do for myself right this moment?
Busy in doing your home assignment or overwhelmed by your boss for the upcoming project? Don’t have time to write? Try to at least ask the questions once in a day.
4. Do not tell anyone about your problems
How many times have you ever told somebody that his or her actions made you feel a certain way? For example, ‘ You made me angry when you did that particular thing’.
In accordance with fact or reality, it’s true that other people’s words and actions affect us, but we also need to take responsibility for the emotions we feel in response to those words and actions. Furthermore, no one can make you feel anything; it’s always your choice.
5. Take Some Space For a While
It’s necessary to make space for some days, even for a few weeks or months from the person or situation you are reacting to negatively. Besides this, never act on strong emotion immediately. Not only to act negatively but also wait until you are feeling calm and have given yourself time to rationalize and think. Only then should you act.
Ultimately, you must develop the ability to decide if the emotions will lead you or if you will lead them. Oscar Wilde led a great concern over this subject:
I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.