How to gain self confidence

Hey, Guys in this self-help segment blog we’re going to talk about how exactly to be more confident. To be honest, this is a personal issue for me because I’ve had a lot of self-confidence problems that I’ve worked out over the last few years, and I’m still working on some.

I will never forget the time when I was dealing with the same lack of confidence. If I could go back in time, I would have to do some deep personal work, some personal development, to get myself to the place I want to be at that particular time, but fortunately, you can certainly do it right now. Let my story shared to you that I was a shy boy throughout my childhood and up through college. Hence, it really crippled my self-image as far as how attractive I was, as far as how confident I could be in social situations.

Importantly, I have some good awareness dose for you on how to develop your confidence and to help you understand where you’re coming from if you’re not feeling confident. So let’s crack into it.

Reason You’re not Confident


Firstly, Let’s talk about why you are not confident.  The reason you’re not confident is that you have some limiting beliefs that somehow got fixed in your mind.

Whether you promote them yourself, or the environment you grew up in as a kid or even as an adult, instilled them into you. Somehow they got into your mental system. In other words, caring about what other people think of you, trying to get approval from other people, worrying that you’re somehow going to make a fool of yourself or somehow you’re going to get rejected or somehow you’re going to get embarrassed, and somehow you’re going to get disapproval in some way from the people that you’re talking with.

Even somehow what you have to say is not as valuable as what other people have to say. You consider yourself as naturally shy, or an in-your-shell type of person. All of those can act as unbalancing blocks towards developing your confidence.

Get clear about insecurities

What you’ve got to do is start identifying your weaknesses. This is the first step. All I want you to start identifying weak areas in your life, specifically, where you lack confidence. Don’t just cry over that, “I’m not a confident person.” Identify an area where you’re not confident.

Certainly, you’re not confident when you’re at some special place. Maybe you aren’t confident while talking to the opposite sex. Maybe you’re not confident at work. Or maybe you’re not confident when you’re talking with a teacher, manager or a boss. Maybe you’re not confident when you’re interacting with a large group of people. And maybe you’re not even confident when you’re in the shopping mall buying your favorite jacket and just talking to the salesman.

Maybe you are lacking confidence in all of the above. Probably, I’m guessing, somewhere more specific. More deeply, one or two of those are specifically causing you the biggest trouble. Generally speaking, I want you to sit down and write down what are all the specific areas in life where you’re encountering this. When you get that more concisely, you’re going to start to see some patterns emerge and you will start to identify the problem more specifically.

Indeed, I want you to really identify the specific actions that are happening. So even when you’re not confident, let’s say, in a work situation. When you’re attending a meeting and people around you voicing their opinions and you are sitting there quiet and shy, make a note of that, if that’s you. Additionally, make that note whenever you are feeling unconfident.

Techniques to Develop Confidence

The following ways to make a to-do list for self-confident:

Visualizing Self Confident

You’re going to imagine yourself in that specific situation that you made a list of. Now, you’re going to pick one situation, the worst one for you, where you feel the least confident. Then you assume to take the alternative action that a confident person would take in that particular moment. You’re going to picture yourself doing that at the moment, right now.


Make a commitment to yourself: I am independent and ready of the good or bad opinion of others. I also want you to spend five minutes on this every morning and keep doing this until you reach your goal. Use a stopwatch to time yourself. Undoubtedly, you’re going to start to notice that it’s going to make a big, big difference in how you feel about yourself.

Promise Yourself

Make a promise to yourself that I love being confident. So you’re going to say that to yourself for an indefinite period of time. For the most part, you’re going to do that for five minutes straight every morning for at least two months without missing a single day.

Socialize Yourself

The last point that I have in my to-do list is that I want you to socialize more. Take extra opportunities to be more social. I find a lot of times where people are not as confident even they’re sitting at home, or they’re sitting at work, they’re not out talking to people, they’re openly denying opportunities to socialize.

Maybe your friends one night, on a Saturday night, are going out to a party and they invite you. But you reject them and say, “Nah Nah, I’m just going to stay home and watch a movie.”

I want to challenge yourself to make a full-stop on that. You need to socialize more. Obviously, you need more opportunities where you can step out of your shell and your comfort zone. So take those opportunities. Above all, don’t deny opportunities that are coming your way, but even better, go out there and create opportunities for yourself.


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